Monday, June 29, 2009

Unbalanced Creativity

There's lots going on this week and I don't know how to feel about any of it. I temporarily closed my etsy shop yesterday because I'm just not feeling very fulfilled with my shop. Don't get me wrong, the sales are good, but I used to "craft" and make physical things I'd sell in my shop like pouches, purses, plush, coasters and other things that challenged my creativity and kept my mind constantly occupied. I always had new ideas of things I wanted to make or ideas of things I wanted to try making. Now days I'm just making and printing paper goods like address labels and note cards, and I'm not using my hands or imagination to make anything to fulfill my creative needs.

Crafting and creating has always been an outlet in my life that I love to get lost in. In 2006 I lived in Connecticut with an ex-boyfriend. We bought a 3 bedroom house together and I got my very own craft room. For the first time in my life I had a space all to myself. I spent hours upon hours in my craft room just enjoying every minute of the day that I was creating something, and even when I wasn't creating things, I was thinking of new ideas and all the things I wanted to make. I had laundry lists of things to make, things to try, supplies to get, and it just fulfilled my creative mind. Then the relationship I was in abruptly ended and I moved out of our house and moved on. I ended up moving back home to California and moved back in with my mom in her Apartment. Ever since I moved back to San Diego from Connecticut, I've stopped crafting and creating. I think it was mostly due to the fact that I went from living in a 3 bedroom house with my own craft room to shoving everything I owned into 1 bedroom in my mom's apartment. I'm grateful she had a place for me to stay, but everything from that point changed.I've since moved out of my mom's apartment, but I still haven't had the space to unpack my craft supplies let alone have enough space to sit and create. I'm at the point now where not having an outlet to explore my creativity is hindering my spirit and my life. I just have this constant feeling like something isn't right in my life, when I know for a fact, I'm very blessed and have no reason to complain. I just have these wild desires to craft and create, but the timing isn't right. We just moved to Houston and we're temporarily in an Apartment until we buy a home and escrow closes. The good thing is, we're in the process of getting our new home which will be large enough for me to have my own craft room again, but my creativity has been suppressed for so long it feels like it's killing me. I just want to bust out all of my craft stuff and just make something already!! In the meantime, I just don't feel like keeping my etsy shop open and that saddens me.

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