Monday, June 29, 2009

Update - Unemployment Blues

Update to my last post....

Not even 2 minutes after I posted my last blog venting about my job situation and how I ran out of my new job and training today, I just got a call about another job!

A huge part of my apprehension for my new job I accepted was due to a call I received last week. I think I had mentioned in my previous post that the same day I accepted my job offer I got a call about another job that sounded more up my alley and more like something I'd want to do. When I got the call I was really busy and was in the middle of trying to take care of "house stuff" and we were putting a deposit down on our house. Thinking back now, I shouldn't have answered my phone. I'm more likely to call someone back if I get a voicemail and can sit down at a later time and talk to someone about a job versus when I'm running around in a hurry trying to get as much stuff done. I told her I would think it over and call her back. Because of the timing of the phone call and being in the middle of trying to take care of things with the house, I never called her back. Instead I just obsessed about it all week feeling like an asshole for not calling her back. Then like an idiot I waited a week before finally calling her because I kept thinking it was too late, or that I waited too long and I was sure the job was taken by now. Also since I didnt call her back the next day, I was really feeling pretty jerky. Not to mention on top of it all, I already accepted the other job and my first day was today - Ugh! - I'm just a mess I tell you!

Anwyays...All week while my intuition was going crazy and red flags were flying up everywhere about this new job I accepted, I still couldn't let this other job go and it was constantly in the back of my mind. Then yesterday in between the stress and the tears about starting my new job, I called the other lady back and left her a voicemail. I appologized for not getting back to her sooner and just wanted to see if the job was still available. Then today after flipping out over this job and running outta there like a bat out of hell, I came home and posted my blog venting since I'm just feeling outta whack right now. Then not even 2 minutes later I just got a call from that lady about the other job I've been thinking about. Yay!!! So now I have an interview tomorrow. She was honest with me and said they were considering another gal for the job too, but told me the other girl hasn't even interviewed yet but they had interest in her by her resume. But then I guess they did about me too. So tomorrow's my interview and we'll see what happens :)

See folks... This is why I listen to my intuition.... it NEVER lets me down! :)

Unemployment Blues

Jobs are like men... You can't live with them.... and you cant live without them!

Things have been so busy and just kinda crazy lately, I'm just feeling stressed, frustrated and feeling like I've got the unemployment blues. I need a regular 8-9 hr job so I have a regular income coming in. Since moving to Houston I've had oh maybe 5-10 interviews I'm guessing? And I've received 3 job offers, all of which did not feel like the right job for me. Either the schedules were too crazy, or the pay wasn't what I'm looking for. I nicely declined 2 of the positions, and accepted one of the job offers. Later that same day I got a call about another job that sounded more up my alley, but I never called that lady back. Instead I've just been thinking about it all week - Ugh! So this morning was my first day of training at my new job I accepted. I was in tears yesterday and last night because I still can't shake this feeling that this just isn't the right job for me. In past experience, If I dont feel right about a job, or I hate the job before I even start, or I'm just not feeling like this is a good fit for me, I just cant see myself there for any length of time. Also in the past my intuition has never done me wrong, for example - I passed up 2 job offers before I got my kick ass job at Waste Management. If I just took either of the first 2 jobs that came along, I wouldn't have been available to get the job at WM. The first 2 jobs just didnt feel right and my intuition has always been right. When I go against it, bad things happen every single time. When I got laid off at Waste Management in January, I started a new job at a wholesale t-shirt/design company. It seemed ok at first, the pay wasn't quite what I wanted and then I kept getting all these red flags about the job and my intuition was going haywire! The people who interviewed me talked very negatively about their own boss, they seemed like they all hated their jobs and asked me if I was sure I wanted the position. I quickly said yes without really thinking it over just because I wanted to start working again and I almost didn't care where I was working. Then I started the job, and the owner of the company was a total dickhole! He would yell and cuss at his employees and call his customers assholes, idiots, and every other profanity he could think of. He was ex-military, very strict, very much an asshole and everyone that worked there kept warning me about him. I should have listened to my intuition since I was weary about this job and after my first day I was in tears and didn't want to go back. A few days later they let me go anyways, because they wanted someone bi-lingual, but I was sooo glad because by that time I was too chicken shit to quit! I mean right there that tells you that you need to listen to your gut and trust in yourself, and when I go against myself, things just don't work out.

So this morning I went to this new job even after crying about going last night and I was sitting in the room where they do the training. I was filling out my w4 and my new hire paperwork and I was shaking. I still could not get over this feeling like I just wanted to run out of the room and leave. I kept cursing myself that I even walked in there. While I filled out all of my paperwork, the HR lady gave us more info about the sales job and then it just made it even more apparent I really didn't want this type of job. I've been open to looking into different jobs and even interviewing with everyone because sometimes you just never know... but this time, I was just a wreck over feeling "stuck" in this job if I started it. I know myself too well, and if I were to start this job, I'd be miserable every single day, in tears when I'm home, stressed out beyond belief, but I would never quit. I'd just let myself be stuck, and honestly that's not how I want to live my life. So as some of the other new hires in the room were finishing up their paperwork, I was like ok this is it... I need to make a break and just get out of here. I mean there's no sense in wasting their time training me or wasting my time sitting in that room for 8 hours today if I knew I wouldn't want to go back tomorrow or ever again. So I finally just said screw it and went up to the HR lady and gave her my new hire packet that wasn't filled out yet and politely let her know I had changed my mind about the position, and thanked them for their time and flew outta there like a bat outta hell!

I've never felt so relieved, embarrassed, stressed out, and so guilty all at the same time! I know I will find a job that's a right fit for me, but I just need to be patient, and keep applying for more jobs.

Anyways, thanks for listening...

Unbalanced Creativity

There's lots going on this week and I don't know how to feel about any of it. I temporarily closed my etsy shop yesterday because I'm just not feeling very fulfilled with my shop. Don't get me wrong, the sales are good, but I used to "craft" and make physical things I'd sell in my shop like pouches, purses, plush, coasters and other things that challenged my creativity and kept my mind constantly occupied. I always had new ideas of things I wanted to make or ideas of things I wanted to try making. Now days I'm just making and printing paper goods like address labels and note cards, and I'm not using my hands or imagination to make anything to fulfill my creative needs.

Crafting and creating has always been an outlet in my life that I love to get lost in. In 2006 I lived in Connecticut with an ex-boyfriend. We bought a 3 bedroom house together and I got my very own craft room. For the first time in my life I had a space all to myself. I spent hours upon hours in my craft room just enjoying every minute of the day that I was creating something, and even when I wasn't creating things, I was thinking of new ideas and all the things I wanted to make. I had laundry lists of things to make, things to try, supplies to get, and it just fulfilled my creative mind. Then the relationship I was in abruptly ended and I moved out of our house and moved on. I ended up moving back home to California and moved back in with my mom in her Apartment. Ever since I moved back to San Diego from Connecticut, I've stopped crafting and creating. I think it was mostly due to the fact that I went from living in a 3 bedroom house with my own craft room to shoving everything I owned into 1 bedroom in my mom's apartment. I'm grateful she had a place for me to stay, but everything from that point changed.I've since moved out of my mom's apartment, but I still haven't had the space to unpack my craft supplies let alone have enough space to sit and create. I'm at the point now where not having an outlet to explore my creativity is hindering my spirit and my life. I just have this constant feeling like something isn't right in my life, when I know for a fact, I'm very blessed and have no reason to complain. I just have these wild desires to craft and create, but the timing isn't right. We just moved to Houston and we're temporarily in an Apartment until we buy a home and escrow closes. The good thing is, we're in the process of getting our new home which will be large enough for me to have my own craft room again, but my creativity has been suppressed for so long it feels like it's killing me. I just want to bust out all of my craft stuff and just make something already!! In the meantime, I just don't feel like keeping my etsy shop open and that saddens me.

Sunday, June 28, 2009

Our Future House

Our Future House

Kevin and I put a deposit down on a brand new house last week. It's not built yet, so we'll get to pick out some specifications as to what color brick we want, and we'll also get to pick other details like tile colors for flooring, counter tops, etc at a design center. We're hoping everything goes smoothly so we can get the ball rolling so we can close escrow before the end of November. We'd really like to take advantage of the $8,000 tax credit before it expires this year.

This house is 2012 sq Ft. It has 4 bedrooms, 2 Baths, Laundry Room, Formal Dining Room, Kitchen Dining Area, Family Room, and 2 Car Garage and a Backyard. We'll have plenty of room if anyone wants to come visit us! :) *hint hint*

Wish us luck!

My Secret Hobby

Most people dont really know I collect cute salt & pepper shakers. This is one hobby I've purposely keep a secret, otherwise the next thing I know i'd start getting s&p shakers for my birthday or holidays, and that's the last thing I need. (I've had past experience back in the 90's when I told people I loved ladybugs, fairies and tinkerbell lol) I'm pretty picky when it comes to my "collections". I dont collect just any type of s&p shakers, I only like to collect really cute or unique shakers from japan, cupcakes, and some from new places I visit. I was out running some errands a couple weeks ago and stopped in this pharmacy not too far from my house. The pharmacy had a post office inside, games, toys, greeting cards, make up, kitchenware and all sorts of neat little nick knacks. It reminded me of Burns Drugs in La Jolla, so I felt right at home. While I was there I found the cutest little salt and pepper shaker to add to my collection. It almost matches another cupcake shaker I have, only this one is smaller and it's a little more decorative. I thought it was adorable, so I picked it up. The top where the frosting is comes apart from the bottom, so it's stackable. It's just too cute!

Saturday, June 27, 2009

Moving to Houston

I've finally unpacked and gotten Kevin and I settled in our Apartment in Houston. Our apartment is really cute, and much larger than our apartment we had back in San Diego. We've got about 200-250 sq ft extra, with new carpet, new appliances, a fireplace, central air conditioning, a pool, and a fitness center, all for $100 more per month in rent!

Our trip was exhausting and Kevin and I both agree we will most likely never make the drive to or from Texas to California ever again unless we give ourselves more time, even then, that’s a stretch. We were utterly exhausted and it was physically painful to be in a car for 10+ hours a day. I took lots of pictures to remember our journey, since I know one day I'll look back and be glad we had the experience of driving cross country for our big move. If we ever do it again, I'd want to ride with Kevin in the same car. It might make things a little more interesting. Overall we made it safe and sound and the pets did really well in the car over the 2 day trip. Bailey was on her best behavior, we didn’t have any accidents and she didn’t whine or make a peep the entire time. She was a trooper! :)

Day 1:

6:00 a.m. - all packed up and ready to go!

Got the dog?.... Check!Got the cat?.... Check!Headed out on the 8 going east!Headed into Imperial ValleySleepy BaileyHeaded towards Yuma, AZWelcome to Arizona!Space Age LodgeDinosaurs hanging out at the Shell StationDriving through miles and miles of catusEnjoying the beautiful scenery in Arizona

Driving though New Mexico.

The clouds are coming down in a funnel - we're headed towards a stormWe're about to drive under a gigantic rainbowThe storm gets darkerWelcome to Texas!

Day 2:

Driving through the dark since 4:00 a.m... the first sign of lightWatching the sun riseSmile! ...( I'm so exhausted!)Stopping to fill up the gas guzzlerKevin in the Penske TruckBailey waking up from sleeping all morningAre we there yet?